Bantshire was founded in 1969 by [name redacted due to ongoing court proceedings]. It was the 25th member of the Russell Group, until it was expelled in 1970 for being a bit shit. However, it has turned itself right-the-fuck around and now ranks No.1 for Canteen Facilities in the CEF 2020, and brings joy to thousands of punters via its Twitter website. Bantshire’s current Vice-Chancellor is Vince Chancelier (He/VC).
Bantshire have invested £100,000 in campus facilities since 1989, when TV star and philanthropist [name redacted] ‘fixed it’ for Bantshire with a major cash injection. In return, the University gave him the ‘keys to Bantshire’. Court proceedings continue.
Bantshire’s Schools and Research Centres include:
- The Steve Irwin Veterinary School (formally The Rolf Harris Veterinary School)
- The Fred Dibnah School of Engineering
- The Ronan Keating Centre of Music Excellence (formally The Michael Jackson Institute for Music Innovation)
- The Andrew Neil Centre for Gender Studies
- and The Diane Abbott Institute of Maths Research.
Chief Pixel Arranger
"The team are putting the finishing touches to their 169 page 'brand guidelines' that no one will ever read."
Senior Shit Scribbler
“If I was a teenage girl, I’d want to hear about The University of Bantshire on the BBC Radio 4 Today programme.”
Veteran Meme Artisan
“Our social media team draw straws to see who gets to manage social on Ed Balls Day.”
Social Media Ninja
“Our social team’s excitement about the massive engagement over Clearing was short-lived after they realised it was pretty much all complaints.”
Bantshire SU are also on Twitter at @BantshireSU, for some fucking reason. Officers Sam (he/him), Sam (she/her), and Jeff (Jeff/Geoff) put the ‘you’ into ‘SU’.
They can't get enough of us...
- We were interviewed for the Inspiration on Tap podcast
- Edurank ranked us, and then wrote about it
- Wonkhe have mentioned us a few times (Google it)
- We hit the big time with a mention from the Plymouth Herald.
Covering our arse
Bantshire University is run by an absolute ledge who works in higher education. It's totes obvs a parody account and not intended to upset or troll anyone - you snowflake. We love higher education, but equally enjoy the idea that in an alternate universe there is a university as bad as Bantshire. Or maybe in this universe.
Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual any of the above, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental - including our Vice-Chancellor, Professor Vincent Chancelier. Bantshire is not intended as a substitute for the expert advice of marketing and communications professionals. Most images are sourced from unsplash.com.
To be honest, I doubt any of that would cover us, but worth a crack.
I've gone about making this website all wrong. I downloaded a free template from HTML5 UP, and then have been using fucking Notepad to turn it into this. I am hosting it on GitHub. Fuck knows why. Apart from it being free.