Bantshire scribbles

We have most of our ideas in the loos. It's our quiet place. Usually, ideas are based on a real life situation that are too unbelievable for our real-life university account.


Furious Headline Generator

Generate your own angry headline about higher education.


Parents’ anger as student refused entry to university Grad Ball after dropping out in 1st year

An exclusive article in the Bantshire Echo.


Get packing! Top tips from students on what to bring to uni

As a new academic year approaches, students share their tips on what to bring to university and what to leave behind.


Reply-All: A Short Story

Guys, why are you replying all? Please stop replying all.


ALL-STAFF EMAIL: Our Plans for the Next Academic Year

After meticulous planning and a cautious roll of the dice (which we subsequently lost down the Vet School cattle grid), we can now announce our detailed plans to reopen campus from September.


ALL-STAFF EMAIL: Parking arrangements for 2021/22

As you may be aware from overheard discussions at the Executive Strategy BBQ last week, over the last 12 months we’ve seen a significant decrease in the number of cars parking in campus car parks.


NEWS: Only a quarter of students satisfied with hangovers

Only a quarter of students in the UK were satisfied with their hangovers during the pandemic. An annual survey found that the majority of students felt they had missed out on quality university hangovers as advertised on Hollyoaks or The Inbetweeners.


SHORT STORY: University marketing balls-up

Banged this together on Twitter, yeah? Had no idea where I was going with it, I just let my fingers do the typing. Cheers for reading anyway.


SHORT STORY: Dress-down Friday

It was dress-down Friday, and Marketing Assistant Jenson had decided to surprise his colleagues by wearing his most outrageous floral Hawaiian shirt.


SHORT STORY: The prospectus drop

Jenson woke with a start. His bedside clock said it was 6:39am. But what day was it? He hazard a guess at Thuenaday, so he dragged himself out of bed.


GUIDANCE: Working at home

For many of us, working at home whilst living in close quarters with our families is a fucking nightmare. Even more so when you have children to look after.


NEWS: Graduation Incident Report

Everyone involved in an event where organised mortar board throwing is practiced must undertake the 30 minute training and practice session.


NEWS: Take the Community Pledge

We have asked all student to consider signing up to our optional pledge.


NEWS: The seven best toilets to steal paper from on campus

Running short on bog roll, but too lazy to panic buy with the rest of the idiots in Lidl? Here are the top places to bag yourself some free toilet paper on campus.


AWARDS: The Bantshire Balls-Up Awards

The biggest event in the higher education calendar is back for 2020. Just not here.


NEWS: The Universe University Rankings

Universities across the globe are celebrating being ranked joint No.1 in the new WTF Universe University Rankings.


CHARITY: Novelty Bantshire Certificates

In October 2019 we gave punters the opportunity to literally own a piece of history (well, a piece of card).