The seven best toilets to steal paper from on campus

Running short on bog roll, but too lazy to panic buy with the rest of the idiots? Here are the top places to bag yourself some free toilet paper on campus.

7 - The Fred Dibnah School of Engineering Ground Floor Toilets:
Only 1-ply, so a bit rough on the under carriage. We give it a score of 2/10.

6 - The New Biology Labs McLabface Second Floor Bogs:
Another single-plyer, but made from recycled paper so earns an extra mark for sustainability. 3/10.

5 - The Daily Thompson Sports Complex Gym Toilets:
Feeling “wiped” after a workout? Our first 2-ply paper is worth regular stockpiling, and won’t break (the university’s) bank. 5/10.

4 - The Campus Woods:
Go “au naturel” with leaves from the woods. Just be mindful to avoid the local school’s woodland outreach event on Wednesday. And mind those nettles, ouch! 6/10.

3 - The Ronan Keating Centre of Music Excellence Ground Floor Shitter:
2-ply, but worth doubling up to 4-ply with an extra fold, this crackin’ paper will make your “boys' zone” squeaky clean. 7.5/10

2 - The Prince Harry Study Abroad Centre Toilets:
Ultra soft and quilted 3-ply paper, this paper is fit for a king. You’ll want to scope out for paparazzi before filling your duffel bag with these. 8/10

1 - The Executive Suite Throne Room:
Velvety soft, 5-ply, and plentiful. We recommend that you bag a load of these out-of-hours. Avoid being caught by CCTV by wearing a balaclava. 10/10.