It was dress-down Friday, and Marketing Assistant Jenson had decided to surprise his colleagues by wearing his most outrageous floral Hawaiian shirt, paired with tailor-made work shorts that were cut off a good few inches above the knee. But little did Jenson know that he’d been delegated a last minute invite to the bimonthly Faculty of Commerce management meeting.
Fucks sake, Jenson thought to himself as he dashed through the drizzle to the Vince Cable Building.
Once inside, he had a quick splash of Old Spice and pulled the meeting room door handle, rattling the frame. No luck. It was a push door. He shoved it forcefully, slamming it against the wall behind, and strolled through.
He sat down, making sure there was an empty chair on either side of him to act as a buffer to the next person. The Dean’s Assistant, Bev, stared at Jenson. In the far corner Jeff and Geoff were helping themselves to a lukewarm coffee left over from the previous meeting, and Kelly was sat opposite, wistfully staring out of the window at the concrete wall outside.
Jenson pretended to check his work emails.
The meeting finally started, 15 minutes late, once the Dean has turned up with a Matcha Pumpkin Latte. He announced that he’d brought donuts, and laughed. He hadn’t brought donuts.
Bev distributed reams of background material, printed in full colour and on one side only.
The first topic of discussion was undergraduate recruitment. The Dean was agitated that his new course, a BA in Music and Leisure Centre Management, had failed to attract any applicants. This was clearly a Marketing issue, as his desk-based research last May had proven there was a gap in the market. He fixed Jenson a long hard stare as he sipped his latte.
At this exact same moment, there was a loud noise from above as a leg came crashing through the ceiling, followed by a cry of “argghfucksakesrgg”. As the dust settled, the leg retrieved itself back into the ceiling, and there was the sound of crawling.
A few seconds passed and there was a further creak, and through the ceiling fell Chief IT Engineer Barry, landing on Bev’s lap.