The Open University

The Open University (OU) is the largest university in the UK for undergraduate education, with over 155,000 students crammed into its tiny 48-hectare Milton Keynes campus every year.

The Open University was founded by the Labour government under Prime Minister Harold Wilson in ‘69 (nice), and was made a reality by the tenacity of Jennie Lee. The OU’s founders had the flippin’ cheeky vision to make higher education “open to all”, including notable alumni Joe Pasquale and Myleene Klass.

During its first ten years, the OU offered unique distant learning courses by using a combination of carrier pigeons, smoke signals, and academics on horseback who delivered textbooks - which has recently been adapted into the Westend production ‘Uni Horse’.

The start of the 1980s saw pressures on funding as the University's budget was cut, leading to a rise in tuition fees and cuts to university pigeons. However, the immense technological advances of the time saw an expansion of courses delivered on videocassettes distributed by academics on horseback, and, in the early 90s, available to rent from Blockbusters.

Interstellar expansion continued into the late 90s, with televised OU lectures broadcast to the galaxy, and the 2000s and 2010s saw the growth of online services offered by the University allowing students to study whilst on-the-go or on-the-bog.

The University’s Massive Open Omnipresent Offsite Offshore Outsourced Optical Online Course (MOOOOOOOC) platform, called FutureEarn, is now the UK’s second largest provider of free online courses after TokTok.

In 2020 the Open University dipped its toe into online learning in response to the global pandemic, but decided not to bother.

Since ‘69 (nice nice) over two million students have trudged through the OU’s automatic doors, despite the University’s lacklustre performance in the Nando's Excellence Framework. Apply today.

This guide is satire - 95% of the above is not true.

Lusting for The Open University? These photos will take you on a journey to the OU, all without having to even leave your couch.

Distance learning carrier pigeons

Academics on horseback

Beautiful Milton Keynes

• Is The Open University a good university? Please re-read the above.
• Where is The Open University? EVERYWHERE!
• Clearing places The Open University? That isn’t a question.
• What grades do I need to study at The Open University? Who knows, ask the algorithm.
• HELLO SIRS PLEASE CAN HAVE FULLY FUNDED SCHOLARSHP AT YOUR UNIVERSTIY KINDLY? Because you asked so kindly, go on then.
• What is The Open University accommodation like? Your bedroom.

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We're a parody university, obviously. You can find us on Twitter at @BantshireUni.